Monday, July 30, 2012

Not Missing

Just wanted to let you guys know I am not missing or dropped out or on a binge. I am just really busy with work, schoolwork, and some more doctor visits with the husband. Plus the fact that  I am freakin exhausted.

Back in a week or so.

Saturday, July 28, 2012


My doctor finally called me back late yesterday. All my blood work is great, everything is right where it should be. Except...

One of the reasons I went to the doctor is I have been feeling tired. More tired than usual. Ridiculously, obscenely tired. Get out of bed and want to crawl right back in tired. T.I.R.E.D. Fall on my face tired.

Yesterday the doctor asked if I had been sick about a month ago. Uh, yeah, I figured it was a combo of allergies, sinus infection, summer cold. I was wrong. Turns out, it is


Can you friggen believe it? I am 42 years old and I have mono. WTF is that?

If you have had mono in the past (I had it in high school) the virus stays dormant in your body. For the vast majority of people there are no recurrences of symptoms. But there are cases when there is a recurrence. Other illnesses or stress can cause mono to recur. I had no idea. The doctor thinks my long term high stress level combined with a rough allergy season weakened my body enough to cause a recurrence.

Unfortunately there is nothing that can be done for it. Doc said the fatigue could last a couple of weeks or a few months and I just need to ride it out. I am glad to know it is nothing too serious. I am less than thrilled because it has wrecked havoc with my ability to concentrate on this damn schoolwork. 

Off to finish a paper, take a nap, and do another paper. Tomorrow will be a repeat of today.

Friday, July 27, 2012


After five straight months of hard boiled eggs for breakfast (and the Great Cereal Catastrophe of 2012), my stomach finally revolted and said, "Variety NOW".

I decided to try some smoothies. I bought unsweetened coconut milk, unsweetened almond milk and a bunch of fruit. Quick aside: do you use shelf stable almond milk or the kind in the refrigerator section? What are your prefered brands?

The kids were excited to try something new. Did I tell you how lucky I am? My kids try everything, the nine year old more readily than the four year old, but once 9 tries is 4 isn't far behind. Daisy (4) actually was the first to try the coconut milk and she loved it. Eliza (9) hated it which is odd because that kid likes everything (except peaches, hates peaches, weird).

Today I made a smoothie with the coconut milk an frozen pineapple. Yummy! Daisy would have drank the whole thing if I had turned my back, she loved it. Even Eliza liked it with the pineapple. My husband thought something was missing. Rum? No, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Whatever. I loved it.

Tomorrow we are going to try almond milk and strawberries, maybe some banana if they hurry up and ripen.

What are some of your favorite concotions?

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Must Keep Hands to Self

You know it is not going to be a great day when at 9:48 am you are ready to punch someone in the head.

Monday, July 23, 2012


I cannot be trusted with cereal. Was tired of hard bolied eggs, done with the Whole 30 so I figured I would have some Kellogs Crunchy Nut cereal. Bad idea. Carb cravings like friggin crazy. And a very bad day followed. Still have a fat girl's brain.

Walking up to the glass doors of my office building: I noticed I wasn't waddling any more. My ass and thighs didn't take up the whole picture.

I had zero trouble walking up the stairs to my office.

When I wrapped the towel around myself yesterday it actually went all the way around! No gaping view of thigh and ass cheek. My husband high fived me.

I bought a couple of five pound weights and an eight pound kettlebell this weekend. Pretty low weight compared to what some of you beasts lift but that shit feels heavy to me right now!

Been out of sorts since the Whole 30 ended. Told my man I am just going back on it. It is easy, it works for me, I felt great. So I am back to the Whole 30, except maybe now it's just "the way Beth eats".

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Whole 30 Wrap Up

When I started the whole weight loss thing on February 27 I weighed 317 pounds. God, I am mortified to type that.

On Sunday, June 17, I weighed in at 269. In sixteen weeks I lost 48 pounds.

Monday, June 18 I started the Whole 30.

Tuesday, July 17 (yesterday) was day 30. I weighed in this morning at *insert drum roll here* 254! In 30 days I lost 15 pounds. Without counting calories!

I am super happy with the results. I feel super confident now. I really proved to myself that I am the head bitch in charge around here! To answer Enz's question- my skin is more even, less oily in oily spots and less dry in dry spots (does that make sense?).  I feel good; physically I am less achy, mentally I am less moody. My sleep patterns have sucked for a long time and they haven't improved. In fact, that is one of the things I discussed with my doctor last week. I had hoped the healthier lifestyle would help the sleep. Not so much.

As I expected, now that I can have whatever I want, I don't even want it anymore.  I told my husband tonight that I felt so good that I am just going to continue eating this way for the most part. I will be adding cheese back in, unless it ends up tasting nasty like it did for Jenn.

In twenty weeks two days I am down 63 pounds. About 80 more to go. Will I be ringing in the new year at goal weight?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Day 30

Today is the last day of my Whole 30. It's been an interesting experience.

I've read on a couple of blogs, and have heard in real life, how people hate diets that restrict what you can eat. They could never cut out pasta, or bread, or like TBTW, never give up "treats".

I hope you're prepared to keep your fat ass.

Will I never have a "treat" again? Of course not. But I'll never think it's ok to have a treat every damn day though.

I did the Whole 30 to prove to myself that I could. That I could say no to bread and cheese and sugar and Diet Coke with Lime. That I am stronger than food. That I am in charge of what goes in to my body. I did it to give myself confidence.

Enz asked what I am I going to do when the Whole 30 is done. I'm going to have some cheese on my next burger! The one thing I have consistently wanted is a nice slice of Swiss on a burger. Screw the bun, bring the cheese!

I am still going to restrict the bread, pasta, and sugar. I have pretty much been doing this since February so no big deal.

I am going to add back in peas, can't believe I missed them. I will also add back in other beans (black, kidney, etc) but probably won't eat too many of them right now. Winter is chili time around here and our chili has beans in it.

I'm going to allow myself limited dairy, cheese if it is in a healthy recipe or on a burger, but not in chunks just to snack on. After the first week or so, I didn't miss yogurt. I also didn't snack after dinner. Yogurt will probably stay out.

Random thoughts:

Before the Whole 30, I was losing 2- 3 pounds a week. I hope tomorrow to see a loss between 8 and 12 pounds for the month.

Ken goes for blood work, CAT scan, and oncologist appointment out in Philly tomorrow. We decided I wouldn't go to this appointment because we probably won't learn much. The 31st is the appointment with the surgeon. That's the informative appointment and I will be going then. Instead, the girls and I will be running my mom on her errands. She still can't see to drive form the retina surgeries.

She wants to go to Wal-Mart.

I hate Wal-Mart.

Tomorrow's big update will be later in the day since I will be at Wal-Mart.

I have to stop being such a slug and start doing some exercise.

I have to stop saying that and start doing it.

I am TBTW of exercise. Can't have that.

Norma hit 43 looking super fit and hot. I turn 43 next month. By the time we turn 44, I am going to be looking super fit and hot and flip forty four the finger!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Days 26 - 29

Food has been on plan.

Doctor visit was interesting. We discussed some things that have been concerning me. I'm not going to go into them right now but blood has been taken.

Doc was thrilled with the weight loss. His first question was "Are you doing it the right way?"

I guess that depends on what you think is the right way. I told him what I am doing. I also told him about the doing the Whole 30. I said I will probably be adding back into my diet things like peas, black beans, and cheese (on occasion). Continuing to keep out bread, pasta, added sugars.

He said, and this is a direct quote, "Great. Don't let anyone tell you that this is not sustainable."

I almost fell off the chair. "Doc, so many people have told me there is no way I could do this."

Doc, "I know, that's why I said it. A good diet does not need all the processed crap people have become accustomed to."

He asked about exercise and I admitted I am very lazy when it comes to it.

He said, "You should really do some weight training. I don't mean join a gym right away. But at least do some body weight exercises- push ups, squats, things like that. It will help with the weight loss, preventing osteoporosis, and is good for your overall health."

Totally thought of Norma and Jenn when he said this.

So there you have it. Tests for things that are concerning me are underway and a few for curiosity (sugar, vitamin levels, cholesterol)  Plan is doctor approved and encouraged. I felt like I was headed in the right direction and it's nice that the doctor thinks so too.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Days 22 - 25

Monday through Thursday

The quarter ended on June 30 so I have been slammed at work with payroll reports. My kids have been going to Vacation Bible School every evening this week. The traffic at that hour is ridiculous. The Husband hasn't been feeling well so I have a little extra around the house too. It's been rush rush rush and I hate that.

My food has been right on plan. It's actually been a bit light the last two days. Today I had 2 hard boiled eggs in the morning then nothing until dinner. I had around 4 oz of London broil and 1.5 cups of carrots and a plum. According to the calorie counts on My Fitness Pal, that is only around 600 calories. I wasn't hungry so I just didn't eat. I'm not hungry now and it is 9:10 pm. I'll probably be in bed by 11 so that is all the food I'll be having today. Yesterday was the same but substitute grilled chicken in place of the London broil.

I have a doctor appointment tomorrow afternoon for a physical. I haven't had one in a few years so I want to see what is up on the inside.

Uh, no brain power to think of a good conclusion so....

Sunday, July 8, 2012

19 - 21 or Blowing the Whole 30

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Food was spot on!

We went to our annual BBQ on Saturday. It was hot as hell. I can't wait until next summer when I will be more comfortable with my body that I will wear shorts. Yeah, I wore jeans. I had on a pair of capris but I've lost so much weight they were too baggy to wear.

I did great with food. I knew there would be plenty of fruits & veg (we brought them). I was fixing plates for the kids and made a comment about this yummy looking dip not being on my plan. A woman said something like oh there's no diets at parties. I had a slight moment of panic that I was going to have to justify myself to someone I just met. Not that I am overly concerned what other people think but I hate the feeling, real or imagined, that someone is judging me. Anyway... I said, "I'm 20 days into a 30 day thing and I don't want to blow it." She said, "Whole 30?" Can you imagine how psyched I was that I didn't need to explain the whole thing?

We had a conversation about how much weight I've lost, how I'm doing on the Whole 30, her generally primal diet, Crossfit, boot camps and spin classes. It was great. Somehow that conversation and her encouragement made it even easier to decline all of the dips, chips, mayo based salads, deviled eggs, cheese, and buns.

Let's talk booze. My husband is a recovering alcoholic. We don't keep any alcohol in the house and I very rarely drink. I detest beer. My sister has tried to get me to like wine but it just hasn't stuck; I just can't stand the stuff. I like wine cooler & cooler-like things. I also like the hard stuff. My Irish grandmother introduced me to drinks like the Old Fashioned, Tom Collins, dirty martini, and when to not sully a good liquor with water. On Saturday when I was offered a beer several times I had no problem saying no. When we were going around saying our goodbyes, the host had broken out a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey. I said, "Oh sure break out the good stuff just as I'm leaving." "Here, have a shot." No need to twist my arm. Then my husband said, "Go ahead, have another." He just doesn't understand- liquor isn't necessary, I'm a sure thing. We toasted to Irish woman and I had another one.  Halfway home I said, "Oh crap! I wasn't supposed to have alcohol on the Whole 30!"

I blew the Whole 30. It might be the wrong thing but I am going to continue on  until my thirty days are up. I hardly ever drink alcohol so I really didn't keep telling myself no alcohol the way I tell myself no cheese, no yogurt, no Diet Coke. Next time I do it I will be sure to remind myself no booze.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

17 & 18

Pretty boring July 4 around here and that was ok with me. We usually go to a friend's house for the 4th but this year he decided to move it to Saturday so people didn't have to worry about getting up for work. Instead we sat around watching tv. Ken watched eight hours of Barbeque Pit Masters and I watched Band of Brothers. The girls indulged in their own marathon of Barbies and other bitches. I don't know why I watched Band of Brothers all edited and commercialed when we own the dvds.

I actually didn't eat much yesterday because that would have required me to move from the comfy spot I was in. Two hardboiled eggs late morning and london broil with salad & avocado for dinner. Also, some watermelon with the littles.

Today's plan is:
Breakfast: 2 hardboiled eggs
Lunch: salad with grilled chicken
Dinner: Left over london broil, salad and probably avocado
Snack: watermelon? pear? apple? one of those

I was supremely pissy yesterday. I hate that feeling.  I dropped two of the four classes because it was way too much for me. I am now berating myself for not being Wonder Woman and able to do all things all the time. And extending this college crap another three months and more money and whay can't you just suck it up and do it blahblah. Sometimes I want to smack myself.

Today I am tired because we had thunderstorms and I ended up with both girls in bed with me. The younger one is fine, she gets in a position and is like a brick, never moves. The older one is all legs and elbows and wants to take over the whole bed. Me ass is dragging today.

Shout out to Heather and her husband who are starting the Whole 30. Hide the beer, Heather!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Days 13 - 16

The food was pretty much the same as it has been for the first twelve days. Minor variations.

This weekend I was so exhausted. I was good during the day but 8:00 came and I was Done. I couldn't figure it out until I had a duh moment. Duh, it's 12,000 degrees out and you've been running around. Duh, it's period time. Duh, just duh. I stopped keeping track of periods after I had an ablation two years ago. If I'm not bleeding, why bother keeping track? It's probably a good idea to keep track just so I have a ready defense for when I beat the crap out of my husband for being a douche bag.

Can't think of a good segue here...

My mother called during dinner last night and asked, "What can I eat on a burger?"


"On this Whole 30, what can I eat on a burger? Ketchup, mustard, relish?"

"It can't have sugar and knowing what condiments you use I'd have to say just mustard. You're doing the Whole 30?"

"I'm going to give it a shot. Just a week."

"Great! I hope you commit to the 30 though for the best results. And Ma? Really commit to it, you're only cheating yourself if you half-ass it."

I really hope my mother isn't my real life TBTW.