Friday, November 16, 2012

Begin Again

I've basically been wallowing in shit the last few weeks. I'm not going to get into it all because I just don't want to go there right now. Suffice it to say between the storm, husband getting sick after storm, money, job, school, and assorted other shit my head has been firmly up my ass. I have eaten everything. Yes, everything.

I weighed 278 this morning. I gained back 22 pounds. I did not want to write this. I wanted to hide and "wait for 218" before showing you guys. Then I remembered I want no bullshit. If I can't be honest, especially with myself, then what the fuck is the point?

In the last three or four days I've read some things that have really smacked me upside the head. Jane, Norma, Jenn, Plum Petals, Leah, RaeRae, everyone over at the No Bullshit Zone reminded me this is not what I want.

So there it is. Begin again.

10 comments:

  1. Whats your plan? What are you thinking about trying to do? lolll Hope you appreciate the humor in that! Seriously, tho...you had such great success with the Whole30, I bet if you get on that again, you will drop the 22 + in no time.

    And seriously - you have more shit on your plate than anyone I know. And keepin it real is always respectable. No bullshit there.

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    1. You crack me up! My plan was to think about the Whole30 and then ponder it and maybe consider it. Then I decided to just fucking do it!

      I went for my annual gyno visit yesterday and my doctor was THRILLED that I lost so much weight. When I went last November I weighed in at 328, which is eleven pounds more than when I started trying to lose in February. So when I weighed in yesterday at 278 he saw a 50lb loss. I felt even worse about gaining cuz it could have been a 70lb loss. I think that was the clincher- the "could have been". Tired of the coulda, woulda, shoulda.

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  2. I'd second Jenn's suggestion of the Whole30 - or maybe even consider the 21 Day Sugar Detox. I was dropping 4lbs per week on a small frame when I did it. (Actually, if you want, I'd send you the 21DSD e-book. If you're interested, drop me a line at jaclynkwok AT hotmail DOT com) In the mean time, thanks for your honesty, and kudos to you for looking at this as just another opportunity to get started.

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    1. Thanks Jac. I am back to the Whole 30, not sure why I even left it. Duh move on my part. I'll check out the sugar detox.

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  3. I spit out my tea at "wait for 218"...classic. You go read my comment back to your comment and then smack yourself on the hand for even typing such thoughts! Then drink 16 ounces of water and get back to your regularly-scheduled ASS KICKING, grrrrllll!

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    1. That was another thing I meant to mention- the water. I was doing great with the water until the storm. After that we have to conserve because we didn't know what was going to happen, I couldn't drink my usual 150 oz. What I didn't realize was how intentional I would have to be to get back up to that level.

      Also, thanks for being no bullshit.

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  4. You definitely have an excuse, girl. I can't imagine.

    I gained and it wasn't for any reason close to yours. You are not alone, definitely. We can do this.

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    1. Thanks Rae Rae. Your encouragement means a lot. I want to be taking dressing room pics like yours!

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  5. I'm just glad to see you're back on here in some capacity. You and your gang have been in my thoughts since Sandy hit. Here's the thing. Cut yourself a little slack. These girls all know as well as me and as well as you - you've got a MOUNTAIN of crapola on your plate. More than anyone else I know. This is going to be a lifetime thing for you, not just a quick-fix bandaid. I'm the exact same way. You know how many times I've fallen off the wagon, and then either climbed back on, or come to this blog for inspiration? So you gained 22 pounds back. Big whoop. You're strong and you're driven and you did it once. You'll do it again, and I'll bet you'll surge right past that 22 pounds you need to relose and head back to your 218 goal in no time. Life happens my dear. You will do well, because that seems to be your thing. :) We're al here. - Broad.

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  6. Everyone's already given some good advice. For me, I'd choose 2-3 things and stick to them - drink x amount of water daily, eat no processed foods, and walk for at least 20 minutes a day -- something like that. Then as you start to get more control, you can add more things and get back to your regular self. You can do this. Just stay positive and don't overwhelm yourself. Just keep taking small steps in the right direction.

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