Didn't realize I haven't posted since Christmas Eve. Things have been really friggen crazy.
Work has been insane. I had to do a crapload of year end payrolls, W2s, 1099s and the like. Now sales tax is due. Followed up by a ton of bookkeeping just in time for tax season to really ramp up. My boss is a total asshole and has been proving it on a near daily basis.
I am down to crunch time with the college stuff. I have to have all work done by January 31. I have so much to do and am completely stressing out over it. Anyone want to write a ten page case study on their workplace for Managerial Communications? Not your cup o tea, how about ten pages on organizational behavior? No takers? I don't blame you. I am so close to the end but I am so burnt out I can barely function.
We went to the end of our street for the first time since the big storm. The bridge was opened last week to general traffic not just residents. I should have stayed home. It was fucking awful. From the top of the bridge you could see the ocean. You never could before because there were houses there. Those houses are just gone. Other houses are collapsed on themselves. The debris and destruction nearly three months later is astounding. I cried to see these houses and neighborhoods I have lived near my whole life just destroyed, hell, just fucking gone. It was terrible.
My nine year old fell down the stairs at school. She went down on her belly and just grazed her head. The nurse thought she was fine but said we should keep an eye on her. She was just fine. Problem is our COBRA insurance ran out a week ago Wednesday. Private insurance policy is much more expensive than what we had under the COBRA. I wasn't expecting it to be more because how the hell could it be more? Well, it is and we can't afford it. Thankfully, the old man has been on Social Security disability long enough that he started medicare on January 1. The kids & I have nothing right now and I have such a shit feeling in the pit of my stomach over it. In March we have the evaluations for her possible cerebral palsy so I have to pull a fucking rabbit out of my hat soon.
I am having a terrible time with feelings of depression and anxiety. I know what I need to do but just don't do it. Exercise is non-existent but that's nothing new. Eating has been shit. Not complete shit because I don't keep much shit in the house but I have been eating way too much. Not making excuses just stating the facts.
Not exactly a happy place here. I am reading all your blogs but not commenting much. Contrary to the verbal vomit above, I just don't have a whole lot to say.
You sure you don't want to write a paper for me?
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Monday, December 24, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
Never Enough Time
Last week: 271
This week: 271
No change
Total loss: 46 pounds
Many carbs were consumed this week.
This time of year is usually slow in the world of public accounting. Most people are so busy with the holiday season that they don't want to think about getting their paperwork in. Of course, come January/February they want their books done pronto so they can get a tax refund.
This year I am very busy. Crazy busy. That's cool, it makes the day go faster. It also means I'm a lousy commenter. I usually blog once a week, so no big change there but I do like to read and comment on other blogs. I'm reading but I just don't have the time or brain power to come up with witty, ok, any comments.
The workload should ease up the week of Christmas but then we get into my silly season. After the January 1, it's back to crazy town and I'll see you all in mid-April!
See you next week.
This week: 271
No change
Total loss: 46 pounds
Many carbs were consumed this week.
This time of year is usually slow in the world of public accounting. Most people are so busy with the holiday season that they don't want to think about getting their paperwork in. Of course, come January/February they want their books done pronto so they can get a tax refund.
This year I am very busy. Crazy busy. That's cool, it makes the day go faster. It also means I'm a lousy commenter. I usually blog once a week, so no big change there but I do like to read and comment on other blogs. I'm reading but I just don't have the time or brain power to come up with witty, ok, any comments.
The workload should ease up the week of Christmas but then we get into my silly season. After the January 1, it's back to crazy town and I'll see you all in mid-April!
See you next week.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Friday
Last week: 272
This week: 271
Lost: 1
Total loss: 46
The beginning of the week saw temps in the high 60s low 70s. Today the high is going to be around 44. That's not all that cold but going from 71 to 41 literally gives me a headache.
We have a Christmas party tonight. It is the last get together of our now defunct church. It's potluck style so I know there will be plenty of food I can eat (I'm bringing it). The girls are excited because it means a late bedtime. The four year old is particularly funny as I know I will find her crapped out in a chair around 9:23. What can I say, she's a party animal!
Just because I can't not tell you: I wrote that post about my life not being all negative last Friday. During dinner Saturday night something fell out of my mouth. Odd because I totally chew with my mouth closed (major peeve). It took me a minute to figure it out. It was a tooth. Ok, so now I'm afraid to chew the gob of chicken because I am holding a friggin tooth. I start feeling around with my tongue. No, not over here...not here either...nooo...oh SHIT!...it's a front tooth! Not an all I want for Christmas tooth but the one right next to it. Son of a BITCH! A post, temporary crown and $980 later, I no longer look like I could have my own reality show hawking moonshine.
Have a great weekend!
This week: 271
Lost: 1
Total loss: 46
The beginning of the week saw temps in the high 60s low 70s. Today the high is going to be around 44. That's not all that cold but going from 71 to 41 literally gives me a headache.
We have a Christmas party tonight. It is the last get together of our now defunct church. It's potluck style so I know there will be plenty of food I can eat (I'm bringing it). The girls are excited because it means a late bedtime. The four year old is particularly funny as I know I will find her crapped out in a chair around 9:23. What can I say, she's a party animal!
Just because I can't not tell you: I wrote that post about my life not being all negative last Friday. During dinner Saturday night something fell out of my mouth. Odd because I totally chew with my mouth closed (major peeve). It took me a minute to figure it out. It was a tooth. Ok, so now I'm afraid to chew the gob of chicken because I am holding a friggin tooth. I start feeling around with my tongue. No, not over here...not here either...nooo...oh SHIT!...it's a front tooth! Not an all I want for Christmas tooth but the one right next to it. Son of a BITCH! A post, temporary crown and $980 later, I no longer look like I could have my own reality show hawking moonshine.
Have a great weekend!
Friday, November 30, 2012
The Bright Side
Last week: 274
This week: 272
Lost: 2 lbs.
Total loss: 45 lbs.
It occurred to me that I've posted a lot of negative, dramatic stuff. I don't want you guys to think we live this life of doom and gloom. Far from it. Now, to be honest, I have always been a glass half empty kind of girl. I try hard not to be but I am a worrier by nature and it's hard to knock that shit off.
Despite all of the sucky things that have happened over the last four or five years, life is good.
My husband is alive and kicking.
My kids are healthy (other than the cp thing), happy, smart, funny, awesome people.
We laugh a lot. Sometimes we laugh at something and it upsets someone in a "How can you laugh about that?" kind of way. Oh honey, we laugh because it's so much better than crying. I would rather piss myself laughing than have crysnot on my face.
I have a couple of unbelievably good friends in real life.
I've connected with an awesome tribe in computer life.
I will be finishing college with no mother fucking student debt!
Our savings have been completely demolished but our bills are getting paid.
When an unexpected expense crops up (tv frying, losing a fridge of food, losing time at work because of the storm) an unexpected solution appears (someone sent us an anonymous cashier's check for $200 and another anonymous someone sent us a grocery gift card, anonymous because they know we wouldn't have taken it. See what I mean about unbelievably good friends?)
Sometimes I post the crappy stuff just to help get it out of my system. My husband has enough on his plate without having to deal with my angst. I just wanted you to know some of the good stuff. My life is good. Has it gone the way I wanted? No but I'm a tough, adaptable chick and I'll make this life my bitch.
This week: 272
Lost: 2 lbs.
Total loss: 45 lbs.
It occurred to me that I've posted a lot of negative, dramatic stuff. I don't want you guys to think we live this life of doom and gloom. Far from it. Now, to be honest, I have always been a glass half empty kind of girl. I try hard not to be but I am a worrier by nature and it's hard to knock that shit off.
Despite all of the sucky things that have happened over the last four or five years, life is good.
My husband is alive and kicking.
My kids are healthy (other than the cp thing), happy, smart, funny, awesome people.
We laugh a lot. Sometimes we laugh at something and it upsets someone in a "How can you laugh about that?" kind of way. Oh honey, we laugh because it's so much better than crying. I would rather piss myself laughing than have crysnot on my face.
I have a couple of unbelievably good friends in real life.
I've connected with an awesome tribe in computer life.
I will be finishing college with no mother fucking student debt!
Our savings have been completely demolished but our bills are getting paid.
When an unexpected expense crops up (tv frying, losing a fridge of food, losing time at work because of the storm) an unexpected solution appears (someone sent us an anonymous cashier's check for $200 and another anonymous someone sent us a grocery gift card, anonymous because they know we wouldn't have taken it. See what I mean about unbelievably good friends?)
Sometimes I post the crappy stuff just to help get it out of my system. My husband has enough on his plate without having to deal with my angst. I just wanted you to know some of the good stuff. My life is good. Has it gone the way I wanted? No but I'm a tough, adaptable chick and I'll make this life my bitch.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
God Forbid Life Should Be Calm
My nine year old has always had some motor skill issues. She walked late, she's not very co-ordinated, she had a tough time learning to hold a pencil and write, stuff like that. The doctor, Kenny and I have taken a wait and see approach. We tried to get her occupational therapy through school but after fighting and jumping through many hoops, she was denied. Well, if we wanted to have her classified and put in special ed then they would have given it to her. She doesn't need special ed for curriculum work, she does just fine with that (Honor Roll fine). It was extremely frustrating. We got her some private OT to help with the learning to write stuff.
Then, and this is why I won't get Mother of the Year, Ken got cancer and everything else took a back seat to that. Yeah, not thrilled to admit it but we pretty much forgot all about her issues. She's happy, doing well in school, has friends, activities- just a normal nine year old. It was easy to forget about it. Except she trips over thin air and can't ride a bike no matter how much she tries.
Tuesday she had her well kid visit. Long story short, her doctor thinks she may have a mild case of cerebral palsy. We had to schedule neuro evaluations and physical therapy evaluations. Those appointments are at the end of February and the end of March.
Did I mention our COBRA insurance runs out on January 8? I had been thinking "Ok, we'll buy our own insurance. We're already paying $1200/month for COBRA so no big deal". Just got some quotes for insurance. The cost of buying our own insurance is much higher than what we pay for COBRA. Like $3000 for a family policy of crappy insurance. IF Kenny can even get insurance. I wasn't expecting that. Don't know why I thought an individual family would get the same rates as the big corporation my husband used to work for gets. I just wasn't thinking.
More heavily on my mind is: how did my not paying attention to her problems affect the potential outcome? Is my delay going to make any treatments or therapies either ineffective or less effective? Basically, did I just royally fuck up my kid? I cannot even explain how awful I feel and how worried I am. It's an actual physical feeling in my chest. Holy fuck, can things please go fucking right for this kid?
Then, and this is why I won't get Mother of the Year, Ken got cancer and everything else took a back seat to that. Yeah, not thrilled to admit it but we pretty much forgot all about her issues. She's happy, doing well in school, has friends, activities- just a normal nine year old. It was easy to forget about it. Except she trips over thin air and can't ride a bike no matter how much she tries.
Tuesday she had her well kid visit. Long story short, her doctor thinks she may have a mild case of cerebral palsy. We had to schedule neuro evaluations and physical therapy evaluations. Those appointments are at the end of February and the end of March.
Did I mention our COBRA insurance runs out on January 8? I had been thinking "Ok, we'll buy our own insurance. We're already paying $1200/month for COBRA so no big deal". Just got some quotes for insurance. The cost of buying our own insurance is much higher than what we pay for COBRA. Like $3000 for a family policy of crappy insurance. IF Kenny can even get insurance. I wasn't expecting that. Don't know why I thought an individual family would get the same rates as the big corporation my husband used to work for gets. I just wasn't thinking.
More heavily on my mind is: how did my not paying attention to her problems affect the potential outcome? Is my delay going to make any treatments or therapies either ineffective or less effective? Basically, did I just royally fuck up my kid? I cannot even explain how awful I feel and how worried I am. It's an actual physical feeling in my chest. Holy fuck, can things please go fucking right for this kid?
Monday, November 26, 2012
Thanksgiving (Late Edition)
I had a lovely almost totally computer free weekend.
Thanksgiving was nice. I didn't kill my mother or any of my brothers so- success! Eating was good. Not Whole 30 because I did eat stuffing (but not much, it was too salty).
I weighed on Friday. I lost four pounds! You can lose weight I did go to a few stores. I actually detest shopping on a normal day so Black Friday is like torture for me. Our tv was fried during Sandy and the repairman quoted $198 to fix it. So not worth it. A neighbor lent us a tv but we didn't want to keep it too long. My oldest works at the store with the red bullseye logo and they give their employees a decent discount. She was home from college and unfortunately for me, Black Friday was the day she could go with me. We got to the store around 7:30 Friday morning and it was... empty! It looked like any other day. We got the tv and a few other things and walked right up to a register when we were ready to check out.
Had a mommy and daughter day on Saturday. My four year old actually called it that- mommy/daughter day. That kid is too much. We watched The Lorax. It was cute. Then we watched Tangled. Well, they did. I watched my eyelids for a little while.
Sunday was catch up on laundry, cleaning and general household nonsense. Now I am at work and ready to bang my head on the desk at the idiocy of the man I work for. Pretty much back to normal.
Hope you all had a great holiday.
Thanksgiving was nice. I didn't kill my mother or any of my brothers so- success! Eating was good. Not Whole 30 because I did eat stuffing (but not much, it was too salty).
I weighed on Friday. I lost four pounds! You can lose weight I did go to a few stores. I actually detest shopping on a normal day so Black Friday is like torture for me. Our tv was fried during Sandy and the repairman quoted $198 to fix it. So not worth it. A neighbor lent us a tv but we didn't want to keep it too long. My oldest works at the store with the red bullseye logo and they give their employees a decent discount. She was home from college and unfortunately for me, Black Friday was the day she could go with me. We got to the store around 7:30 Friday morning and it was... empty! It looked like any other day. We got the tv and a few other things and walked right up to a register when we were ready to check out.
Had a mommy and daughter day on Saturday. My four year old actually called it that- mommy/daughter day. That kid is too much. We watched The Lorax. It was cute. Then we watched Tangled. Well, they did. I watched my eyelids for a little while.
Sunday was catch up on laundry, cleaning and general household nonsense. Now I am at work and ready to bang my head on the desk at the idiocy of the man I work for. Pretty much back to normal.
Hope you all had a great holiday.
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