Whole 30 Day One

Start weight: 275.5
With this Whole 30 I hope to get back on track in my mind. I also hope to drop fifteen pounds and incorporate some exercise into my life.

My day one plan:
Breakfast- 2 hard boiled eggs
Lunch- salad with romaine, carrots, red cabbage, red peppers, tomato, 3 oz grilled chicken with balsamic & olive oil
Dinner- steak, zucchini and avocado

I am trying not to snack but if I do get hungry I have a pear standing by.

I am not much of an exerciser but want to be healthier so as part of my Whole 30 I plan on adding in exercise. (Did that sound too trainwrecky?) I am going to ride the dust collecting Schwinn Airdyne. I plan on riding until I feel like I am going to die. That should be about fifteen minutes. (I know that sounded trainwrecky!) However long I last today I will add on two minutes tomorrow, and two minutes the next day, etc.

I also plan on adding in some strength exercises. But haven't figured which ones. I'll have to look at Norma's routines and scale them back around 400% and maybe I can do a third of it. I'll probably start with squats and push ups. Do as many as I can and then add at least one more the next day. Maybe I'll even watch some YouTube videos to see how to use the paperweight kettle bell without breaking some part of me.

I have lots of  boiled eggs, vegetables and grilled chicken at the ready. I feel good and am excited to rock this Whole 30!

Data Dump

Yesterday I went back in the blog to see when I did the Whole 30. I noted the weight I was when I ended the Whole 30. Last night I got to thinking about the ups and downs and the why of it. Why did I crap out and regain? This morning I went back and looked at where I went off the rails. (My navel gazing probably isn't all that interesting so feel free to skip this post. I'll understand.)

I started trying to lose weight and be healthier in general on February 27, 2012. I weighed 317.
June 17, 2012- I weighed 269. Down 48 lbs.
July 18, 2012- Finished a Whole 30 and weighed in at 254. Down a total of 63 lbs.
August 3, 2012- Weighed 252. Total loss of 65 pounds. This was the lowest I got.
From August 3 through October 17 I bounced around between 261 and 254.
On October 17, 2012 I weighed 255 (total loss of 62 pounds).
The next weigh in I had recorded was on November 16, 2012. I weighed in at 278. Up twenty-three pounds from previous weigh in a month before. Crazy time at the Jersey Shore. Total stress eating fail.
For the last five months I have been right around that weight, clocking in at 273 yesterday (total loss of 44 pounds or a total gain of 18 pounds depending on how you look at it).

I am not happy with how I let myself fail and stall. I have said it before and feel like an ass saying it again but here I am, saying it again. I don't want to be one of those fat bloggers who weighs the same ridiculous weight year after year.

On August 3, 2013 I want to weigh less than I did on August 3, 2012. So, less than 252. That's twenty-two pounds in fourteen weeks and three days. It is absolutely achievable. I lost 65 pounds in sixteen weeks last year.

If I can't lose twenty-two pounds in fourteen weeks and three days, I might as well just throw the towel in because then I am just a fat train wreck.

Checking In

It's been a month since I've posted. I had a lull last week but spent that time reading blogs rather than writing them. Coming in to the home stretch of tax season, just three weeks to go. Unfortunately these weeks can be very stressful. Most of the people filing now owe money. And they aren't happy.

Last time I reported a weigh in I was 277. Today is 273. So four pounds in a month. Not great, spent too much time in my head this month. Six week loss of 15 pounds. Total loss since starting Feb/March 2012 is 44 pounds. 

I really want to kick it in to high gear. I want to be the involved mother this summer. Not the mother who is so fucking fat she can't do anything with her kids. 

And I want collarbones like Norma. 

I'm Here

Quickie update:

Still here, tax season sucks, have another head cold turned sinus infection but everything else is pretty good.

Today I weighed in at 277. Last weigh in was Saturday February 9 at 288. Eleven pounds down in just over two weeks. I'll take it. That brings me back to 40 down total. Still regaining ground but feeling strong and confident.

See you the next time Norma reminds me to post ;)

The Bright Side

Last week: 274
This week: 272
Lost: 2 lbs.
Total loss: 45 lbs.

It occurred to me that I've posted a lot of negative, dramatic stuff. I don't want you guys to think we live this life of doom and gloom. Far from it. Now, to be honest, I have always been a glass half empty kind of girl. I try hard not to be but I am a worrier by nature and it's hard to knock that shit off.

Despite all of the sucky things that have happened over the last four or five years, life is good.

My husband is alive and kicking.

My kids are healthy (other than the cp thing), happy, smart, funny, awesome people.

We laugh a lot. Sometimes we laugh at something and it upsets someone in a "How can you laugh about that?" kind of way. Oh honey, we laugh because it's so much better than crying. I would rather piss myself laughing than have crysnot on my face.

I have a couple of unbelievably good friends in real life.

I've connected with an awesome tribe in computer life.

I will be finishing college with no mother fucking student debt!

Our savings have been completely demolished but our bills are getting paid.

When an unexpected expense crops up (tv frying, losing a fridge of food, losing time at work because of the storm) an unexpected solution appears (someone sent us an anonymous cashier's check for $200 and another anonymous someone sent us a grocery gift card, anonymous because they know we wouldn't have taken it. See what I mean about unbelievably good friends?)

Sometimes I post the crappy stuff just to help get it out of my system. My husband has enough on his plate without having to deal with my angst. I just wanted you to know some of the good stuff. My life is good. Has it gone the way I wanted? No but I'm a tough, adaptable chick and I'll make this life my bitch.

Thanksgiving (Late Edition)

I had a lovely almost totally computer free weekend.

Thanksgiving was nice. I didn't kill my mother or any of my brothers so- success! Eating was good. Not Whole 30 because I did eat stuffing (but not much, it was too salty).

I weighed on Friday. I lost four pounds! You can lose weight I did go to a few stores. I actually detest shopping on a normal day so Black Friday is like torture for me. Our tv was fried during Sandy and the repairman quoted $198 to fix it. So not worth it. A neighbor lent us a tv but we didn't want to keep it too long. My oldest works at the store with the red bullseye logo and they give their employees a decent discount. She was home from college and unfortunately for me, Black Friday was the day she could go with me. We got to the store around 7:30 Friday morning and it was... empty! It looked like any other day. We got the tv and a few other things and walked right up to a register when we were ready to check out.

Had a mommy and daughter day on Saturday. My four year old actually called it that- mommy/daughter day. That kid is too much. We watched The Lorax. It was cute. Then we watched Tangled. Well, they did. I watched my eyelids for a little while.

Sunday was catch up on laundry, cleaning and general household nonsense. Now I am at work and ready to bang my head on the desk at the idiocy of the man I work for. Pretty much back to normal.

Hope you all had a great holiday.

Begin Again

I've basically been wallowing in shit the last few weeks. I'm not going to get into it all because I just don't want to go there right now. Suffice it to say between the storm, husband getting sick after storm, money, job, school, and assorted other shit my head has been firmly up my ass. I have eaten everything. Yes, everything.

I weighed 278 this morning. I gained back 22 pounds. I did not want to write this. I wanted to hide and "wait for 218" before showing you guys. Then I remembered I want no bullshit. If I can't be honest, especially with myself, then what the fuck is the point?

In the last three or four days I've read some things that have really smacked me upside the head. Jane, Norma, Jenn, Plum Petals, Leah, RaeRae, everyone over at the No Bullshit Zone reminded me this is not what I want.

So there it is. Begin again.

I'm Here-ish

Another two weeks gone by. When the ability to construct coherent sentences is lost, bullet points to the rescue!

• Last weekend I had massive sinus headache. I attributed it to the change in weather and tried to tough it out.
• This weekend it got worse.
• Monday to the doctor.
• Sinus infection, double ear infection, and streaky red throat.
• I thought I was getting some energy back and was starting to kick mono to the curb and then got the head crud.
• The nine year old brought home the dreaded "There is a case of lice in your child's class" letter. They were all checked and will be checked again in two weeks. Oh Lord please do not let us get lice!!
• Ken is doing ok. He sounds phlegmy but says it is nasal. I have to remember I'm not his mother and let it go. Next CAT Scan is mid-November.
• I'm pretty much bringing up the rear is Allan's challenge. I've been averaging one pound a week.
• Yeah, not setting the world on fire here.
• Down to 255.
• The challenge is 1200 calories, I've been more like 1400.
• I have been more sedentary than usual with the whole not feeling good thing.
• I think the stress is effecting my weight loss.
• Now, that isn't me making a big excuse- there have been no paleo free range pumpkin muffin lattes here. I think it is a small factor. Small.
• Lisa inspired me to bust out my giant hula hoop again. Prior to the head crud, the girls & I were having fun with it.
• I still can't keep the damn thing up.
• My nine year old spins this giant hoop like a pro! It's so funny to see this little stick kid with this huge hoop.
• The four year old has mastered the kid hoop.
• Mama is the only hoop challenged female in the house.
• To all my bitchez out there dealing with some serious shit lately- I'm hoping you will each find peace in your circumstances. You are strong and can handle this situation. Love you all.

Another Manic Monday

Last week: 258
This week: 258

No change, no excuses.

Friday Kenny had the endoscopy to see what was up with the trouble he has swallowing. No tumor! Of course that was the big thing we were worried about even though we didn't say it out loud. Cuz, you know, if you don't say it, it won't be true.

He does have some widening of the esophagus and some thickening in other places. This is all a by-product of the radiation. There isn't anything they can do about it but they also don't think it will get any worse. He just has to be careful about chewing his food really well and noting what gives him trouble and avoiding it. Thank God.

Next stop, the oncologist. I forget when that appointment is.

Oddly busy at work today so I have to boogie.

Checking In

Weigh in: 258
2 pound loss
Not great, thought it would be higher with last week's constipation issue resolved.

I called my doctor on Friday because I am still overwhelmingly tired. He said what I figured he would say. Nothing he could do, it's only been six weeks since last visit, he told me it could take a few months... Then he said the thing that made me want to throat punch him: You are a bit older now and it may take your body longer to heal.  Not what I wanted to hear.  He advised rest and don't get stressed. Bahahaha!

Friggen mono.

The Good, The Bad, The Shameful

The Good

There was no cancer detected in Ken's remaining lung!!! Hallelujah!!


The Bad

The stub, for lack of a better word, where his right lung used to be will likely be causing him problems in the future. The way it was cut or the way it healed is going to make it prone to infection.

The other bad: the bulge in his esophagus. Back to Philly on Monday for an appointment with the gastro specialist. I hope they can do something that doesn't involve more surgery. The man is about surgeried out.

The Shameful

Me. I am the shameful. In the last two weeks I have gained ten pounds. I weighed this morning to send my weight to Allan for the Grandson of Triple Dog Dare challenge. I think that's what it's called. Anyway, I weighed and then cried. I'm back up to 264. WTF is wrong with me? Every food choice I've made the last couple of weeks has been bad. No, it's been a fucking trainwreck.

Yeah, I have lots of things going on that could be handy excuses. The real reason is I am weak and self indulgent. There will always be something going on. I need to suck it up and deal with it.

I signed on for Allan's new challenge. For some reason challenges, like the one Allan had a few months ago and the Whole 30, work for me. My competitive nature won't let me fuck up. It's only when I have to deal with myself that I screw it all up. Going to have to work on that.

So there it is.

PS. Thanks for checking on me Enz, I appreciate it.

Whole 30 Wrap Up

When I started the whole weight loss thing on February 27 I weighed 317 pounds. God, I am mortified to type that.

On Sunday, June 17, I weighed in at 269. In sixteen weeks I lost 48 pounds.

Monday, June 18 I started the Whole 30.

Tuesday, July 17 (yesterday) was day 30. I weighed in this morning at *insert drum roll here* 254! In 30 days I lost 15 pounds. Without counting calories!


I am super happy with the results. I feel super confident now. I really proved to myself that I am the head bitch in charge around here! To answer Enz's question- my skin is more even, less oily in oily spots and less dry in dry spots (does that make sense?).  I feel good; physically I am less achy, mentally I am less moody. My sleep patterns have sucked for a long time and they haven't improved. In fact, that is one of the things I discussed with my doctor last week. I had hoped the healthier lifestyle would help the sleep. Not so much.

As I expected, now that I can have whatever I want, I don't even want it anymore.  I told my husband tonight that I felt so good that I am just going to continue eating this way for the most part. I will be adding cheese back in, unless it ends up tasting nasty like it did for Jenn.


In twenty weeks two days I am down 63 pounds. About 80 more to go. Will I be ringing in the new year at goal weight?

Ending and Beginning

The Ending:

The Allan Challenge ended Friday. I had hoped to hit the 50 pound loss mark. I started the week 48 pounds down, on Thursday I was 49.5 down and figured I'd hit 50 on Friday. Yeah. No. Friday I was back to 48 down and have stayed that way through today (Sunday).

Here's the numbers:

Weight: 317 to 269 -  48 pound loss, 15.15% loss
Waist: 52.5 inches to 47 - 5.5 less
Hips: 55.5 inches to 52 - 3.5 less
Chest: 48 inches to 45 - 3 less
Right thigh: 32.5 inches to 29.5 - 3 less
Left thigh:32 inches to 29 - 3 less
Right arm: 19.5 inches to 16.5 - 3 less
Left arm: 18.5 inches to 15.5 - 3 less

Still obese but heading in the right direction. Which brings me to...


The Beginning:

Tomorrow I am starting the Whole 30. I am curious to see what happens. I've lost an average of three pounds a week for the last sixteen weeks. I'm still pretty fat so three pound/week over the next thirty days is totally possible. I am going to continue with the minimal exercise I do so I can compare with the last few weeks. I know, any excuse to avoid exercise. That will be my next "quit yer bitchin" challenge.

I hit the stores and am all stocked on salad greens, vegetables, fruit, and eggs. Also got a good deal on a couple pounds of shrimp and manager's special on some no additive, organic chicken sausage.  I don't have to worry about beef or chicken breast as we buy them in bulk. Last month we picked up a hindquarter of beef and forty pounds of chicken breasts. At the end of July/ beginning of August we'll pick up a 4H pig and split it with my brother's family. You'll never eat nasty ass store bacon once you've had this no crap added, smoked bacon.

I am undecided on whether or not I'll keep chewing gum. I'll see how tomorrow goes and then decide. Hope you all had a great weekend!

48

Sixteen weeks, forty eight pounds down. I'll take that.

The Allan Challenge ends Thursday (I think, I'll have to check, not even sure it's still going on). I want to lose two more by Thursday so I can end with a nice 50 pound loss.

We went to the wake for our neighbor yesterday. It was pretty hard for Ken. You see, he and J had a bond with the whole cancer thing. They understood each other in a way others just can't. They could talk to each other and get it. I used to joke that she was his girlfriend. I know her death made him wonder about his own situation.

As hard and terrible as it was, there was a bright spot.  J, her daughter and I play bunco with a group of  woman. Why, yes, I am the cliche of fat, middle aged, bunco playing mom. After Ken got sick I dropped out of the regular group, it was just too much with school, work, kids, etc. Now I just sub when they need me. The last time I subbed was January and I started the healthy living on February 27. Every single person commented on how great I looked. Let me tell you, as shitty as the reason for seeing everyone, it was fantastic to get complimented! My husband is super supportive but he sees me every day and we all know that you don't see it when you are with someone every day.

Everyone wanted to know how I did it. I told them it was counting calories and eating clean, nutritious food with some exercise thrown in. A few of them actually said "I tried that, it doesn't work for me, I just can't count calories" I may have pulled a muscle trying not to roll my eyes.

Funny, how things have changed.

Time- Never Enough

Start weight: 317
Last Sunday's weigh in: 280
Total lost: 37 pounds


I thought I would have more time when tax season ended. Didn't really work out that way.

I had so much schoolwork that needs catching up on, it isn't funny. Schoolwork? Yup, I'm 42 and in college. Very long story short- worked same job for 13 years, worked my way up, got laid off. Turned out job I was doing (staff accountant) most employers want a degree. The economy was shit so my husband & I decided I would go to college. I got a job in a small accounting office. The classes I am in now end May 20 (I think). I just registered for my last three classes. They start June 1 and end August 25. Then I will be a bonafide accountant. (I can't say bonafide without thinking of "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" Bonus points if you know the line that comes after it.)

Then Bernice was not herself. Bernice is our Boxer mix. We got her from a rescue last April Fool's Day. She's around ten years old and had heart worm when we got her. My husband's father bred Boxers when my husband was a kid.  Kenny's (the husband) dad died when he was twelve. He has always wanted a dog but I am allergic. Last March a woman I went to high school with posted a picture of the most pathetically cute Boxer face on Facebook. She works with the rescue and they were looking for a new home for Bernice. It was serendipity. The cancer treatments had been taking a toll on him. When he saw the picture on Facebook he cracked the first smile I'd seen in a while. Anyway... Bernice has been with us for a little over a year now. Last weekend she wasn't herself- not eating, not wanting to walk much, no playing (or as my four year old calls it-jumbling). Her coat was getting thinner. Another long story short- vet visit, blood work- her thyroid levels are low. So glad it was something easily treatable.

So that's why I haven't been here.  Aren't you glad to know all this?

I weighed myself this morning. I weigh myself every morning- is this bad? I don't do it in an obsessive way, more like in an let's be on top of things way. This morning the scale was exactly the same as it was Sunday. Usually by this time in the week I am down 1.5 pounds or so. I'm hoping it is a combo of the salty ham last night and period time. I don't actually get a period, I had an ablation 1.5 years ago, so I don't keep track of when it is supposed to be here.

I have to get back to the homework now so I can be a bonafide accountant.

Tax Season- DONE

Tax season is over!

Now I have a crapton of sales tax quarterlies due by Friday, two exams tomorrow, and a backlog of general bookkeeping stuff that got shunted aside. No big deal on the bookkeeping, it will just keep me "normal" busy instead of "insane" busy.

At the end of business Friday, things will be back to normal. Or as normal as it gets around here anyway.

Time to step up the weight loss by getting in some exercise. The goal is minimum 30 minutes on the bike every day. I also want to check out some of the stuff you guys have been posting about exercise. I've bookmarked a bunch of home exercise that Norma, Susie, and others I can't think of right now have posted on their blogs.

Allan has challenged us to eat 1200 calories and drink 171 oz of fluid from Wed to Sun. I already had a plan for today that was around 1250 and I just stuck with that plan. I've been drinking between 160 & 170 oz for a while now so no big deal there.

Seven weeks into the challenge and I am down 32.5 pounds. There are eight weeks left and I would like to lose another 30 pounds.

Little one is calling me so I better cut this short.

30!

Sunday was six weeks into the Allan Challenge. Thirty pounds down!

Only have a few minutes so, real quick:

• Easter- totally within my calories: one peanut butter egg, 3 mini cream puffs, potatoes and bread.
• My body did not like that and I visited the toilet many times. Ok, I shit my brains out.
• It was kind of nice knowing my body wasn't happy with the input.
• Tax season is on my last nerve.
• Have one more week (the season runs to 17th this year since 15th is Sunday).
• I also have midterms next week.
• So not ready for them.
• Very behind on my class work.
• The top of my right foot has been hurting badly the last two days. It hurts like I dropped something heavy on it, only I didn't. Weird.
• Have to find time for blood work to check my thyroid levels.
• Some day I'll tell you my thyroid story.
• Today is not that day.
• Suffice it to say my thyroid doesn't work any more.
• Haven't commented on many blogs lately, I've been reading one here, one there but haven't commented.
• You are all doing great.
• Except for the ones who aren't.
• And those Trainwrecks! Holy hell, why do I read them? 
• That's it, gotta boogie.

Three More Down

Yesterday's weigh in- 290
I am now down 27 pounds!

I have to step it up though- SusieA is kicking my ass and I cannot have that!

My dad lent me his old exercise bike. It's this model but about 16 years old.

It's pretty cool, the big fan wheel produces a great breeze. I better get my fat ass on that thing.

Only 2 more weeks until tax season is over and midterm week begins. After that I should have more time for my life.

Hey There.

Didn't mean to disappear but tax season and school are sucking up all my time right now.

Sundays weigh in for the Allan Challenge- 293! Twenty-four pounds lost in four weeks.

I keep My Fitness Pal up to date so if you are interested you can check out my menus and calories.

Have not added any exercise. In addition to being swamped time wise- I'm having terrible allergy/sinus issues. I am really liking this weight loss and know that exercise will contribute to that and to overall good health. I have also heard there are some people that actually like exercise when they find something they like. Who knows, maybe I'll become an exercise lover. Crazier things have happened.

Will probably disappear again but tax season is over in a few weeks so there will be more time then.

Weigh In 2

Start weight- 317 lbs
Week one- 304.5 lbs.  Lost 12.5
Week two- 301 lbs.     Lost 3.5       Total lost 16 lbs.

I'll take that!

Hope to see a 2 as the first number next week.

Thanks to everyone for being so encouraging. I hope the time never comes that you'll have to kick my ass.